A new year is here and just like my students, I have no doubt that 2024 will be full of surprises. I’ve learned a lot about motivation and setting goals over the years. I learned how to motivate myself, why I shouldn’t always go looking for external motivators, the power of everyday encouragement, and enjoying the journey of reaching a goal. These are often lessons that I am still relearning, especially as I set more challenging goals for myself. How can we, as teachers and parents, begin to teach these valuable skills to children? What can I do, or any of us do, to motivate our children to achieve dreams and goals that they haven’t spent their whole lives thinking about, as many of us as adults do? In other words, can we show them how to reach for the stars?

Extrinsic Motivation vs. Intrinsic Motivation

Even if your children cannot differentiate between the two yet, it is important to understand the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Someone who is intrinsically motivated is also self-motivated, meaning they are doing something because it is personally rewarding to them. For example, a child participates in a sport because it is an activity they enjoy. In comparison, someone who is extrinsically motivated is doing something because there is a reward or punishment involved. For example, a child participates in a sport because they want to win trophies. Even as adults we are influenced by both types of motivations. For example, someone who is extrinsically motivated may only be in a certain career because of the salary but someone who is intrinsically motivated works in their field because it is meaningful to them.

Researchers have studied the effects of both to answer the question many parents and teachers might ask: Which is best, external motivators or internal? One example of the results from research known as the “overjustification effect” showed that someone who is already intrinsically motivated might be negatively affected by an excess of external rewards, meaning their intrinsic motivation might decline. In other words, someone who is intrinsically motivated doesn’t need to be rewarded to compensate for something they already enjoy doing. Extrinsic motivation can be beneficial in some situations and both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation are significant for learning. Over the past four decades, experimental and field research guided by self-determination theory has found intrinsic motivation to predict enhanced learning, performance, creativity, optimal development and psychological wellness. People who are intrinsically motivated are therefore more likely to be:

Successful – They achieve better results.

Committed – They have a stronger sense of personal commitment.

Persistent – They perform more persistently and are less likely to quit when facing difficulties.

Creative – They are more creative and more likely to come up with novel ideas and solutions.

Each child may respond differently to extrinsic motivators so it is important to observe their actions and responses, and determine their level of intrinsic motivation. Identifying intrinsic rewards, i.e. rewards that originate within the person vs. extrinsic rewards that originate from something beyond the person, can also develop your child’s intrinsic motivation. Here are examples of intrinsic rewards and tips for how parents and teachers can highlight them for children:

• A sense of competence when you master a new task or skill

  • “You practiced the piano all month and have mastered the new song from your teacher, how does it make you feel?”

• A sense of accomplishment when you see success in your work

  • “I saw a lot of people enjoying your picture in the art show, I know it is something you worked hard on. How does it make you feel?”

• A sense of belonging when you participate in group activities

  • “What was something you enjoyed most about playing soccer with your friends?”

• A sense of meaning when you volunteer or help others

  • “Everyone did a wonderful job on their ‘get well soon’ cards for the hospital patients, how does it make you feel to have done this for them?”

• A sense of self-confidence when you reach a personal goal

  • “You reached your goal of reading three new books this month, how does it  make you feel?”

• A sense of joy when you are happy with the journey and results of your work

  • “I know you faced some challenges while you were practicing writing your vocabulary words and I was glad I could help you. How do you feel about the steps you took to accomplish this skill?”

Motivating Your Children in the New Year

The second half of the school year tends to feel particularly long. After the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we settle into a few months of going to school while the days are short before the seasons change and the air of summer break is evident. In some ways, the next few months may be the most difficult at school. Before children can take on new challenges it is important to make sure they are settled into a routine. If a child is feeling uncomfortable or anxious, they will not be likely to feel motivated. Once a routine is established, here are some tips on how to motivate and teach motivation to children in the new year (Note: these strategies are meant to help your students become intrinsically motivated):

1. Give them agency and follow their lead

Although at school there is a curriculum to be followed, learning objectives to be considered, and homework assignments to be completed, we may benefit from spending more time at the beginning of this year asking our students to define their own goals. They may not align with what you plan for them to learn that year and that’s okay. If your students know you care about what they want to achieve they will feel more confident and motivated to also consider how your lessons might help them achieve their goals.

Similar to Montessori methodology is Vygotsky's concept of Zone of Proximal Development. This is the area between what is known and what is unknown. Skills not yet mastered by a child can be developed with the guidance and encouragement from their teacher or parent. A teacher or parent is someone who is knowledgeable in the skill the child may wish to learn and can thus provide the support needed throughout the child’s learning process. Scaffolding is a tool that is commonly used to support learning, by making suggestions, asking probing questions, using demonstrations, or introducing a prop.

For example, one of my students was eager to complete a connect-the-dots worksheet but he didn’t recognize the numbers on the page. I can help him feel successful at this task by teaching him those numbers. Since he will be learning it through the Montessori method, I know which lessons to give him to ensure he begins to recognize those numbers and thus complete the worksheets he wants to independently. 

Teachers can communicate these goals with parents and parents can work with their child at home to develop a plan for what kinds of steps they can take at home that will help them to achieve those goals. Parents can also discuss with their children any personal goals they might have for themselves. Perhaps there is a sport, art, or music activity that interests them and they want to learn more about it. Rather than present your child with extracurricular options they have to choose from, give them the freedom to share their own ideas. You might even learn something new together! Parents can also model how to reach goals by taking it “one step at a time.” Parents can share with their child one of their goals for the year and explain how they will take certain steps to teach that goal. For example, a parent might share that their goal is to run a marathon in the fall and they’ll start training by taking short runs around the block and gradually increase the length of their runs.

2. Drive their curiosity and encourage exploration

Take the time to have meaningful conversations with your students, individually or as a class to get to know their interests. You can then help your students create academic and personal goals based on those interests. It is important to think about the best ways to approach the topic of creating goals. For example, the concept of having a goal would be new for my group of three to five-year-olds so I asked them, “What is something you’d like to do or learn this year?” A few of them thought about lessons they have not had yet and for some of the younger ones they were unsure as it was still a question they might not have been asked before. In this case, it can be helpful to have this kind of discussion as a class so other students can get an idea of what type of answers are possible for such a question. 

At home, parents can have similar conversations with their children. When you discuss your child’s interests you are helping them develop their self-awareness. For example, when I expressed interest in playing basketball, my dad got a basketball hoop so I could practice at home. This experience helped me realize I didn’t want to pursue the sport competitively but as a result my family had a new activity we enjoyed playing at home together.

3. Be their advocate and biggest supporter

While we learn how to self-motivate, we need our support system to be on our side while we work to achieve our goals. We also want our children to feel confident without depending on the approval or worried about the disapproval of an adult or peer. Every day is a good day to encourage someone. Remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? Before children, or even adults for that matter, can self-actualize they need to feel safe, loved, and supported. Supporting your children as they work to achieve their goals also means you can help hold them accountable. Accountability doesn’t necessarily have to be a form of extrinsic motivation if there isn’t a reward or punishment involved. It can be as simple as asking your child to check in when they’ve accomplished a task that is part of the journey towards their goal.

As with any social emotional skill, it may be helpful to model what it looks like to be motivated. As a teacher you can bring a positive energy to your day, your lessons, and your interactions with your students. At home, parents can also model this behavior by sharing with their children how they are excited about accomplishing their goals and what steps they took that day to get there. Remember the example from Tip #1 about the parent running a marathon? This parent might say to their child, “I am so excited I reached 13 miles on my run today and I was so happy when I came home to the breakfast you and your dad made for me. Your encouragement helps me on my runs!” Likewise when speaking to your child, say what you mean and mean what you say, especially if you are proud of your child, no matter how small the milestone.

4. Celebrate the journey

There is a chance that any of us will make some mistakes along the way as we work to achieve our goals. We can show our children how we learn from those mistakes and they can motivate us because it means we are growing along the way. And when they do reach their goal, they can look back on the journey and see all the hard work it took to get there. When someone asks me how I define success, I reply that I know I was successful, if I celebrated the journey. Your children might not enjoy every math problem they have to solve or the extra soccer drills they have to practice, but you can show them that learning and growing is always something worth celebrating. For example, a parent might say to their child to highlight this, “Congratulations on your soccer goal today! You worked really hard on practicing kicking the past few weeks and all that hard work showed during your game today!”

A popular question many people have asked me recently is “What drives you?” It is another way of asking, “What motivates you?” I’ve answered this question differently each time and for our students we may find that their motivation also changes over time. As teachers and parents we can help guide our children to enjoy the journey they take as they reach the stars that they’ve painted in their sky of dreams.

A prior version of this article was originally published on January 4, 2021.