Anxiety in Children: Signs and Solutions During Unstable Times

In these uncertain times of change and instability - empty shelves at local stores, businesses and schools shutting down, even if our children are not directly hearing news about COVID-19, they can sense stress and worry from the adults around them. Stress and anxiety are closely related, but anxiety is a reaction to stress. It’s a feeling a child can have when they don’t believe they can handle a challenge or whatever pressure they perceive is on them. This lack of control can create worry and fear. 

Regardless of the extent to which they are aware of current events, it is important to be able to identify how their anxiety is presented so that you can directly address it in a proactive way to help everyone stay calm, be in control, and manage our daily lives in a healthy way. 

Keep in mind that the goal isn’t to remove the anxiety, it is to provide strategies to help children manage it. We can’t always remove stressors or fears that make them unhappy, but we can help them learn to tolerate these feelings as they are growing and developing.  

Possible signs of anxiety in children:

*If these signs are constant over time, consider speaking to a pediatrician  

• Trouble sleeping

• Complaints about stomachaches or other physical problems 

• Difficulty concentrating

• Avoidant or clingy behavior around caregivers 

• More questions than usual 

• Irritability 

• Outbursts 

• More crying 

• Regression in behaviors such as toileting problems 

Offer support: 

1. Check in and ask how they are feeling. Are they worried? Nervous? Scared? 

2. Talk about their feelings and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel that way

3. Reassure them that they will be safe. Limit news coverage that they could misinterpret but provide information in a child friendly way (see this article on how to support your children’s emotional well-being during coronavirus). Express realistic expectations about change but be positive about how you and everyone else in the family is taking action to get through it all. This creates a sense of control and can help kids feel safe. 

4. Model behaviors on how you manage anxiety as an adult (see tips on calming strategies, right below!)

5. Brainstorm what helps them feel calm or in control 

6. Encourage them to share concerns and ask questions 

Calming Strategies (for adults and kids): 

• Try to maintain a sense of daily routine and structure. If school is closed, try to recreate a schedule of learning and creative, fun activities. This not only establishes a level of normalcy but also redirects our attention to more productive tasks. 

• Helping around the house with chores or offering help to the community in safe ways 

• Be a role model by eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and staying healthy 

• Try meditation and other calming activities that are soothing (e.g. taking deep belly breaths, mindful coloring, countdown slowly from 10 with closed eyes, hug or receive a hug from a loved one...see this article on more calming strategies for big feelings)

• Practice feeling more grounded with Better Kids’ Grounding Game (see illustration below):

1. Stand upright, inhale and exhale 3 times

2. Look down at your feet and instead of the floor, visualize another you beneath, supporting your feet

3. Look up and visualize another you above your head, you can smile at them

4. Inhale and exhale while feeling supported from beneath and above, as if you were a giant sequoia

Some children may react right away to stressful situations, some may show signs much later. Parents and other caregivers are able to provide the best support for their children when they manage difficult circumstances with confidence and a sense of calm.