Gratitude is a twofold definition, according to Dictionary.com. It is the quality of being thankful as well as the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. So it is not just a feeling but an actionable practice that leads to positive outcomes for the community around us and our personal lives. When we experience gratitude we can break it down into a sensation of warmth or feelings of love, joy, happiness, calmness, etc. When someone shows kindness to us, we feel thankful for their caring and our lives are enriched to some degree. We may then show our gratitude with words or a positive act in return, which gives them a little happiness back while also gifting ourselves with these feelings. The cyclical nature of gratitude can be a multiplier of positive effects and helps us build better relationships, grounded in goodness and humanity. It is an invaluable way of being to continuously strive towards both as children and adults. By encouraging kids to practice gratitude, you can set the foundation for a more positive mindset and better resilience! 

Teaching Kids Gratitude 

We can help teach kids about gratitude, like in many other circumstances, by being examples and visibly showing gratitude in our daily lives. How do you as an adult show gratitude? Are the kids able to see your practice? It can simply be when you wave to and thank the postal carrier or when you are dining at a restaurant and your words and tone demonstrate kindness and thankfulness. Was there an awe-inspiring moment, i.e. a beautiful sunset that you and your child can be thankful to have witnessed? Kids, especially younger ones, love to mimic for better or for worse. These are the exact moments where we want them to!

Gratitude shouldn’t just take the spotlight once a year around Thanksgiving - with adult guidance, it can become a regular practice for children. 

1. Reflect

Throughout the day practice noticing and by doing so, we appreciate what we have. Did something out of the ordinary happen? Or was it the ordinary that we’re thankful for? In addition to pointing out those moments, at the dinner table or right before they fall asleep at night, talk to your child about their day and ask them what took place that made them feel thankful. These little reminders can help shift mindsets from ‘wants’ to ‘haves’. 

• “The full moon we saw on our walk tonight was such a wonderful surprise. I am thankful for seeing such beauty.”

• “I really love our Friday pizza and movie night. I’m grateful that we have a fun tradition we can all share. What do you enjoy about it?”

• “Did you know that the waiter is on his feet all day? He must be so tired by the end. And he always brings us this delicious food with a smile. We are so lucky to get this service!” 

2. Feel

Initiate conversations about how they feel when they receive - whether it is related to a person, event, or thing. How did the gift make them feel inside? Excited, joyful? It is important to associate positive feelings with someone else’s actions and thoughts, making it clear to the child that ‘things’ do not exist in isolation. Beyond objects, we can also point out that people and events can make us feel thankful. Perhaps grandma’s visit made us feel thankful because she traveled from far away to spend time with us and we love her so much. 

• “What a special gift! Tommy really thought about what you might like. How do you feel about a friend like Tommy?” 

• “What did you like doing with Grandma? Why? How do you feel when Grandma spends time with us?” 

3. Show it

Teach appreciation through action. Kids can learn to give thank you cards. If they don’t have writing skills yet, you can scribe for them and/or have them draw a picture! When they receive gifts from loved ones or when someone important to them shows up for a special event i.e. birthdays, recitals, etc., encourage them to make a card or write a letter to show gratitude! You can also show gratitude through volunteering in the community by giving our time to help others. Finally, grace and courtesy words of “please” and “thank you” are foundational. 

4. Read

Books with characters that do or don’t show gratitude can be discussion points and even inspiration. The book -  Thankful by Eileen Spinelli is a simple and excellent text.

TRY THESE GRATITUDE RESOURCES WITH YOUR KIDS:

Research from UC Davis psychologist Robert Emmons and author of Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, tells us that even maintaining a journal with routine reflections on moments for which we are thankful - can improve our overall well-being. 

Here are a couple of journal templates for young children, along with thank you card templates. These reflective activities can help you nurture children’s practice with gratitude. 

Note: If your child isn’t able to write independently yet, you can scribe their thoughts for any of these printables and they can focus on drawing in the boxes. If they are beginner writers and depending on their stamina, you can encourage them to label their pictures and/or complete one of the sentence starters and you help them with the rest. 

• Gratitude Journal

• You can print several of these templates and bind them together to create a gratitude journal for your child. The ideal would be to establish some sort of routine, whether it’s daily or every few days. You can help instill gratitude by helping your child, regularly engaging in noticing moments and the feelings that are associated with gratitude. 

• Daily 3 Reflection 

• This is an alternate template for reflecting, with a more targeted focus on the positives in our daily lives. It is another way to get in the habit of appreciating and being thankful for what we have. A combination of copies of this printable and the former could also be a great journal. 

• Better Kids Thank You Cards

• This is a set of 4 thank you cards that you can print. Your child can complete them to show their appreciation for people in their lives! Kids often love engaging in the process of mailing items or delivering cards personally. It gives them more time to be excited about their positive act and reinforces the idea of a gratitude cycle.

A prior version of this article was originally published on May 10, 2020.