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Children and anger: What's happening inside our bodies

In the world of cartoons, it’s not too difficult to recognize a person feeling anger; they may turn bright red, release steam from their ears, or ball their fists up tightly. Although they are not always as obvious, we also have physiological reactions when we experience anger. Some are visible to the outside world, but others are not. Knowing the physiological signs of anger can help us better recognize and respond to this challenging emotion in ourselves and others. Especially when working with children, whether as educators or as parents, we can support their social and emotional learning by talking about what anger looks and feels like in more tangible, direct terms. 

The Physiological Signs of Anger

The physiological signs of anger begin in the brain. When an anger-provoking event occurs, our brain is fast to respond, thanks to a part of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is responsible for memories, survival instincts, and emotions. Using our prior memories, it recognizes anger stimuli and sends our body into a “fight or flight” survival response with the release of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol from the adrenal glands. While we may all look and feel slightly different when we are angry, these hormones create similar physiological signs in us all:

  • Heart rate and blood pressure increase in order to pump blood to muscles and extremities.

  • Respiration increases to better oxygenate muscles.

  • Body temperature rises and muscles tense (resulting sometimes in clenching hands or jaw, grinding teeth, or a need to move around).

  • Perspiration increases, especially on palms.

  • Flushing or reddening of the face and potentially a headache.

Tips on Supporting Children’s Management of Anger

Managing our anger takes practice and begins with knowing the above physiological signs. Whether you are a teacher working with students or a parent with your children, it can be easy to forget that speaking directly about the effects of anger on our bodies is very much necessary to social emotional learning. For young children in particular, learning to identify these physiological signs can help them realize the strange feeling they are experiencing might actually be anger. If children cannot first identify their anger, how can we expect them to properly manage their own feelings of anger? Only with this knowledge of emotions can children begin to recognize anger in themselves and respond to it properly.

We should therefore talk openly with children about the signs of anger. The next time you sense your child might be feeling angry, have a discussion after they’ve calmed down. Try these helpful tips to guide your support of their emotional growth:

1. Support your child’s awareness by asking questions, following the body map from their head to their tummy: 

- What did that feel like inside your body? Were you warm or cold? 

- Did your head feel different? Were you able to focus? 

- Were you able to breathe calmly? 

- Did your muscles feel relaxed? Your arms, your shoulders, your jaw?

- How did your tummy feel?

2. Empower your child by sharing the knowledge that you have of anger. You can share what your own bodily sensations feel like when you feel angry. You can also share what you know about the physiology of anger from this article.  Connect these normal reactions in their body to the feeling of anger. Discuss how next time they feel that way in their body, they might try to identify and communicate that they feel angry. 

3. Incorporate regular opportunities for your child to continue learning about emotions! You might try games like Wisdom: The World of Emotions. Among other social emotional activities, it helps children visualize what is happening inside our bodies when we feel angry. It’s an engaging and fun way for your child to independently learn about anger, but also for you both to have discussions and learn together!

Anger – and the physiological signs that accompany it – are very normal, but not always directly addressed with children in healthy ways. With the knowledge and tips you have learned here, you can support your child’s social and emotional growth and help them better manage their own feelings of anger!

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